We question its authenticity and our origin,
taking life in its mundane routine like the bass notes on an organ.
Playing our seemingly small parts, we tiny grains of sand.
Captivated by the oceans boundaries its mysteries and romance.
What is our purpose? How can we find joy and peace?
When will we have the answers to the questions for which we so desperately seek?
As I sit here a doodling and mindlessly thinking
Still life is systematically in perfect time without blinking.
Where is the love, the connection we long for and dream.. We frantically hold to promises hoping…like silent screams.
I feel so lost in all these emotions, I feel numb…and without notion.
Please help me find something real in devotion.
I am compelled to a faith I have never known, I have no former experience to go on.
The sleepless nights and feelings of dread was proof of unbelief instead.
So I pray from the place like so many before me have been; With no strength of my own left to fight; ..this is my end?
I crumble but not just anywhere but at the foot of the cross; a different person now, more desperately lost.
“Jesus save me,” I cry lying in the pool of my own blood. Closing my eyes, I take what feel like will be a final sigh.
Then to my own disdain I hear the pounding of my heart in steady beat.
The ticking inside that frustratingly won’t succumb to defeat.
I cannot save myself, I’ve tried. This moaning escapes me from deep inside.
Tears falling down my cheeks make tiny paths through the smudging blight
as purpose eludes me and so does the time .
The voices of despondent arbitrators once again invade my mind.
Bringing accusation and always with scripture and crime. If you don’t save me now I’ll die, my soul concedes. I am helpless, heal now my unbelief.
Tiny drops of rain combined with my tears began to wash away the ashes of all that is left of my life.
I have no dignity, and gone is my pride.
All of my hopes and dreams disappear before my eyes.
Still the sun rises on what is yet another day and I’m… still alive.
Barely surviving, the rain still comes and continues to steadily wash the blood away.
A passerby drops a morsel of bread close enough for me to reach.
I put it between my lips and thankfully chew its meat.
Hmm that’s odd, I thought to myself as a twinge of energy fills my veins, just enough to slightly move.
The tears still flowing, once bitter, now sooth.
But that tiny shift though small might be, changed also my perception of what was happening to me.
God where are you? You have to be here or I’d be dead. “When did you come?” “Don’t leave me,” I said.
Am I losing my mind or am I courageous I cannot tell. Probably the former I thought, as bitterly I wept to myself.
“I’m inside.”
Said a voice, that didn’t come from within my head.
This welcoming voice brought some comfort and rest.
Collapsed and broken in what feels like mere pieces.
Fragments, all that was left of what I thought once was a divine story.
How can this be? How can such suffering bring you glory.
Not everyone believes in Gods ultimate sovereignty.
That all is already known and written like a playwright.
Our independent minds make it so hard to see.
The drama and dance, the pain and the chance.
The heroes and villains, are already written.
So the challenge in life is not to escape, but to let the kingdom of
God change your perception of the landscape.
When heaven meets earth all that man has built crumbles. To our own
Surprise we find our loyalties were divided, between the God who created us,. and the things he provided.
In the visibility of all the ashes that is left lies the deception.
Your humanity has not disqualified you, this is life in its conception.
The beginning. Such a powerful line.
A shift, an change in perception, a PARADIGM.
Jennifer D. Ingram
November 8, 2011
Tears falling down my cheeks make tiny paths through the smudging blight
as purpose eludes me and so does the time .
The voices of despondent arbitrators once again invade my mind.
Bringing accusation and always with scripture and crime. If you don’t save me now I’ll die, my soul concedes. I am helpless, heal now my unbelief.
Tiny drops of rain combined with my tears began to wash away the ashes of all that is left of my life.
I have no dignity, and gone is my pride.
All of my hopes and dreams disappear before my eyes.
Still the sun rises on what is yet another day and I’m… still alive.
Barely surviving, the rain still comes and continues to steadily wash the blood away.
A passerby drops a morsel of bread close enough for me to reach.
I put it between my lips and thankfully chew its meat.
Hmm that’s odd, I thought to myself as a twinge of energy fills my veins, just enough to slightly move.
The tears still flowing, once bitter, now sooth.
But that tiny shift though small might be, changed also my perception of what was happening to me.
God where are you? You have to be here or I’d be dead. “When did you come?” “Don’t leave me,” I said.
Am I losing my mind or am I courageous I cannot tell. Probably the former I thought, as bitterly I wept to myself.
“I’m inside.”
Said a voice, that didn’t come from within my head.
This welcoming voice brought some comfort and rest.
Collapsed and broken in what feels like mere pieces.
Fragments, all that was left of what I thought once was a divine story.
How can this be? How can such suffering bring you glory.
Not everyone believes in Gods ultimate sovereignty.
That all is already known and written like a playwright.
Our independent minds make it so hard to see.
The drama and dance, the pain and the chance.
The heroes and villains, are already written.
So the challenge in life is not to escape, but to let the kingdom of
God change your perception of the landscape.
When heaven meets earth all that man has built crumbles. To our own
Surprise we find our loyalties were divided, between the God who created us,. and the things he provided.
In the visibility of all the ashes that is left lies the deception.
Your humanity has not disqualified you, this is life in its conception.
The beginning. Such a powerful line.
A shift, an change in perception, a PARADIGM.
Jennifer D. Ingram
November 8, 2011
hiswordsarelikecandy.com 
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