Acts chapter 9 tells the story of a man named Saul. Anyone familiar with scripture is aware of the kind of man Saul was. The kind of man people feared was the man traveling down the road to Damascus that day. He, a brilliant but diabolical person who persecuted the church and was even responsible for the death of Stephen. He was schooled in both Jewish and Roman customs. A jewish born pharasee. Unmarried, no children. Saul had one thing in mind. Persecuting those who did not live according to the law.
Saul had no idea what lay in store for him as he walked along the road that day. His ire was kindled against anyone who believed in Jesus. Like we all typically do when our passion unites with our sense of justice, I imagine him walking along the way contemplating what he would do to those who dared to challenge the law of Moses.
As he was stirring up his internal pot of anger. Saul heard a voice. “Saul, why are you persecuting me? “Who are you?, Saul asked. The Lord answered and said,” I am Jesus the one you persecute. As the Lord and Saul were getting aqainted destiny was at work. Saul was struck blind. Then healed and given a new name and purpose at the end of this story. Yet this was Pauls beginning.
The beginning of knowing himself. The self he was created to be. Saul, whose name is now Paul would begin to learn only what you can learn through walking with Christ. And get the answer to questions we all have. Who am I? Why am I here? How do I get to where I am going?
In the world we live in today we are surrounded by immorality and mental diseases that distort finding out who we are in Christ verses gender identity and twisted sexuality. Anything the deceiver can do to keep us from living the life we were created for by deception and confusion, he will do it.
To begin to find yourself, you have to begin to walk with Christ. Its not a relationship with ministry or church that gives us this identity and validation. It is walking with God. Knowing Him in His word and intention. Knowing his heart and his ways. As we walk we discover love. We behold it in all of its sumptuousness. It is a beautiful sight to be constantly blown away by what you see in Him. After almost 40 years of walking with him I am still swept off of my feet by His brilliance. His romance. His love is constantly unfolding and transforming me.
The closer I get to Him the more I see as He sees. It is illumination beyond words.. This illumination creates holiness. To know Him.
Holiness is not in our ability to keep laws and maintain mortal perfection through self disciplined performances, or keeping of rules, antidotes and laws. This knowing of Him sets us free of tireless introspection and the consistant nagging of feeling like we always come up short. I need this knowing of the Lord. I crave this freedom. I can only be compelled to explore Him further. Self discovery is a journey WITHIN Him, not the destination TO Him.
It is only in the light of His presence that I am free, content and at peace. Only in the light of His presence is where who I am in Him comes into focus.
The twisted substitutions the world is offering for self discovery only brings insanity and confusion. I appeal to you to abandon those idols, lies and pretenses. Encounter Christ today. Begin the journey of a lifetime and experience your true identity, and the knowing of yourself revealed through Him. Enjoy your walk. Take the time to laugh, love and live. Never without Him, only in Him. If you come looking for me? You will find me there. Jenny❤️
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