The Hungry

Recently, I watched The Chosen. The short film in its beautiful simplicity helped me see Nicodemus in a completely different light.

Let me first say that I didn’t know I was lost until I watched it. Not lost in the sense that I don’t know Christ but lost in that my heart fell into darkness somewhere along the way the past few years.

I realized this when I saw Nicodemus’ hunger for knowing God.

The kind of hunger that prioritizes pursuit of Him above self-preservation.

This respected man of Jewish Law sought-after a secret meeting with Jesus. Laying down the letter of the law for the Lover.

Seeing the curious, desperate hunger that Nicodemus had to see Jesus and know Him melted me.

I realized that I had things that I was afraid to lay down in pursuit of Him. I am no stranger to the things of God, His presence and His ways. Almost my entire life has been spent in His service. Still I had no clue that I was in a dark place until now. A place where the lines weren’t as clear, where the way didn’t seem quite so narrow.

It is deeply uncomfortable but totally necessary to be so uncovered and exposed. So there would be a humbling of my heart and a opening of my eyes.

It is clear now that the Lord is rescuing me as He always has.

I desire to recapture my passion and hunger for Him, for knowing Him. I desire to not just return to where I was but to do what Nicodemus couldn’t and lay down the things I didn’t think I could. Also, the things that I had no idea I was clinging so tightly to. All to follow him even further now at this point in my life.

Dearest Ones, theres more to discover in Him and I need it. I need Jesus!

I rededicated my life back to Him yesterday. I am determined to do it every day for a fresh sense of reverential fear, a continued hunger for knowing Him and the willingness to take up my cross and follow Him.

I pray that all of you sense His wooing and venture out of your place of comfort to seek a audience with Him. Until next time.

Yours, Jenny